Finally watched the movie Kung-Fu Panda. I took to the idea of a big, clumsy, fat-a** panda "Po" conquering the evil Tai Lung with not much more than the inspiration to "believe in yourself". Given that he loves Kung-fu and dreams of being trained by the best in the field.
I see some inspiration myself in this story. The message is obvious. Each one of us need only believe in ourselves to be able to ride through adversities and come out unscathed. Is it really possible? Troubles leave their mark on us, but maybe the trick is to leave them behind and move on. We all have our emotional baggage, but maybe we need to think about offloading some of it. Not let it weigh us down. Allow ourselves some breathing room. Easier said than done - I bet that's what you're thinking. Agreed. But do we have anything to lose by trying? The current time is truly trying. Seems like our house of cards is crashing. The terrorist attack in Mumbai has instilled fear in everyone. For those of us who live abroad, we fear for our near and dear ones. Things aren't going easy as it is - the ramifications of the current economic situation are staggering. We all know nothing is gained by fear, in fact it will only make us weaker, sitting ducks for worse times - but it is difficult to let go. As I write this, my heart thumps. But I believe I owe it to myself to try. If Po can do it why can't you and I?
Go on - give it a shot. We can overcome.
Friday, 12 December 2008
Thursday, 20 November 2008
Happy Yuletide
The Holiday cheer is all around us - yes, it's that time of the year!! I've grown to love the winter in Chicago (this from someone who used to HATE the cold and was miserable the first winter here). From the lights on the trees of every other street to the dark evenings at 4PM, from the Gingerbread latte and holiday-themed cups at Starbucks to the holiday music in every store, restaurant and mall..each and every thing about the winter months spells cheer. There is a spring in everyone's step and a twinkle in everyone's eyes.
And then there are some winter days that are too perfect to be true - just the right amount of cold - enough to make you feel winter is here, but also to make you want to take a long walk outside, a walk that will exhilarate and rejuvenate. We had one such perfect day one Friday about a couple weeks ago.
I packed us some yummy sandwiches and we headed downtown that evening. Bundled up our little bundle of joy. Parked at Navy Pier. Took a long stroll along the riverfront to Michigan Avenue. Stopped to take pictures. Walked to Millenium Park. Enjoyed our sandiwches. Kabir proved himself to be a winter baby through and through. By the time we walked back to Navy Pier it was already 8:30PM. But the evening was not over yet. Kabir and I rode the carousel. I also sat on the "Wave Swinger" - flew around with a gorgeous view of Chicago downtown and Lake Michigan, the wind on my face. The thrill and feeling of fullfilment that coursed through my entire being at that moment is inexplicable. I felt like there never could be a more perfect evening in my life.
I guess that's what "being in the holiday mood" means. Life seems perfect. I know I am not being realistic when I say that, but I think it is moments like these when all the troubles, tensions, worries just seem so trivial in comparison. Hope everyone has atleast one such perfect evening this winter. I wish all readers a Happy and Carefree Holiday season!
And then there are some winter days that are too perfect to be true - just the right amount of cold - enough to make you feel winter is here, but also to make you want to take a long walk outside, a walk that will exhilarate and rejuvenate. We had one such perfect day one Friday about a couple weeks ago.
I packed us some yummy sandwiches and we headed downtown that evening. Bundled up our little bundle of joy. Parked at Navy Pier. Took a long stroll along the riverfront to Michigan Avenue. Stopped to take pictures. Walked to Millenium Park. Enjoyed our sandiwches. Kabir proved himself to be a winter baby through and through. By the time we walked back to Navy Pier it was already 8:30PM. But the evening was not over yet. Kabir and I rode the carousel. I also sat on the "Wave Swinger" - flew around with a gorgeous view of Chicago downtown and Lake Michigan, the wind on my face. The thrill and feeling of fullfilment that coursed through my entire being at that moment is inexplicable. I felt like there never could be a more perfect evening in my life.
I guess that's what "being in the holiday mood" means. Life seems perfect. I know I am not being realistic when I say that, but I think it is moments like these when all the troubles, tensions, worries just seem so trivial in comparison. Hope everyone has atleast one such perfect evening this winter. I wish all readers a Happy and Carefree Holiday season!
Wednesday, 12 November 2008
Sweet Memories
Happy Birthday Papa!! Thinking about your birthday made me very nostalgic. Birthdays were always such an event! Especially if it were Suchi's or mine (Dhiraj was always so undemanding). We used to shop a month before for a new outfit. We probably drove ma crazy. Plan where to go out to dine. Make sure we have a cake from Monginis that evening (Black Forest was our favourite - YUMMY!). All dressed up, we would wait for you to get home from work and then drive to one of our favourite restaurants (Akarshan or Vishwabharat) for dinner. I used to be super excited about restaurant food back then! On the drive back home, Suchi would nudge me, prompting me to ask you to take us to the Arcade. I would beg you to take us there - please papa, please papa..and then just as the fork came up - one way leading home and the other to the arcade, you would swerve toward the arcade! We would yell with excitement!
Where are those days?? My independence in life has robbed me of that nervous excitement. We know that we are free to do what we want, when we want. As an adolescent, all I wanted to do was to be completely independent, earn my own money, not have to ask dad or mom for anything. Am sure all kids feel the same way. Now that I have what I wanted, there is nothing more I crave than going back to being blissfully ignorant (no cash flow worries, no making sure bills are paid on time, not a care in the world)!! Does this mean I don't want responsibility? I don't think so. I believe I know that this is how life is meant to progress. We are meant to lose that innocence. Parents are satisfied that they have done the right thing only when they see their children take up new responsibilities and rise up to every challenge. But occasionally, the child deep inside us surfaces.
One thing I know though - the next time that I come to India, Papa - you will need to take me to the same restaurants and the same arcade. Let's attempt to re-create those absolutely exhilarating moments :-) Love you.
Where are those days?? My independence in life has robbed me of that nervous excitement. We know that we are free to do what we want, when we want. As an adolescent, all I wanted to do was to be completely independent, earn my own money, not have to ask dad or mom for anything. Am sure all kids feel the same way. Now that I have what I wanted, there is nothing more I crave than going back to being blissfully ignorant (no cash flow worries, no making sure bills are paid on time, not a care in the world)!! Does this mean I don't want responsibility? I don't think so. I believe I know that this is how life is meant to progress. We are meant to lose that innocence. Parents are satisfied that they have done the right thing only when they see their children take up new responsibilities and rise up to every challenge. But occasionally, the child deep inside us surfaces.
One thing I know though - the next time that I come to India, Papa - you will need to take me to the same restaurants and the same arcade. Let's attempt to re-create those absolutely exhilarating moments :-) Love you.
Monday, 10 November 2008
Baby Steps
As I enter into this eddy of words, the top-most thought in my mind is to "get it all out". It's been a while since I've penned down my thoughts, musings or even a small description of a fun trip. Words are tumbling out, scrambled all over in my mind as I try to sort them out into logical phrases.
Where do I begin. Since the first title that came to my mind was "Baby Steps" - I realize that in addition to these being my first steps in the blogger-world, the one person who most dominates my thoughts is my baby. I guess that's what being a mom is all about. So let me start there.
The latest life-changing event in my life - the birth of my son. His laugh the first thing in the morning, his excitement on hearing the garage door open when either Vishal or I get home, his challenging us by opening the door to the DVD cabinet and then waiting to see our reaction - seems like the purpose of my life was to enjoy these moments. I know Vishal feels the same way.
It's scary to see how fast time is passing us by. It seems like just yesterday that we brought our baby home - this tiny helpless little bundle who brought out such fierce feelings of protectiveness (he still does). I can't believe it's been almost 10 months since that day. Being a working mom is tough - not so much from a physical aspect. I fret that there are moments that I've missed - some precious coos that I never heard, some adorable smiles I never saw - maybe even a laugh, some heart-wrenching wails that I wasn't around to soothe. And knowing that my son is growing up so fast - that actually brings out mixed feelings in me. On the one hand, I am happy and excited to enjoy something new every day. On the other hand, I don't want this time to go by this soon - it's like trying to hold sand in your fist - priceless moments are just slipping by. I have my flashes of insecurity. Will my son ask me someday why I didn't spend more time with him? Will he compare me to other moms who dedicated all their time to their babies? The biggest fear is will he THINK any less of me even if doesn't get around to saying it? I wonder if this is something every working mother goes through, am pretty sure it is.
But with this thought comes the realization that my mother was working too when I was a child. I don't really think any less of her and I couldn't love her more. So that gives me hope that my son will also see that the choices I made were driven by the will to be able to give him a better future. He will never know the gut-wrenching pain I go through every morning when I say "Good Bye" to him as he is in the arms of his nanny, the agonizing wait I endure the entire day longing to drive back home to take him in my arms, the way my heart leaps with excitement as I take the I-90 back home weaving in and out of the traffic counting down the minutes, the rush of relief flooding through my veins as he grabs on to my leg without even letting me take my shoes off. I don't need him to know. I know and I am thankful that I am a woman, a mother.
On that note, I salute all mothers - each one of you have a made a choice and I hope and pray that your children appreciate it, thank you for it.
Since I did go on about mothers, I would like to dedicate this blog to fathers - to one in particular. My father-in-law, my appa, who is no longer in our lives, but is always in our thoughts. Appa, thanks for playing your part in raising Vishal and a very very Happy Birthday to you.
Where do I begin. Since the first title that came to my mind was "Baby Steps" - I realize that in addition to these being my first steps in the blogger-world, the one person who most dominates my thoughts is my baby. I guess that's what being a mom is all about. So let me start there.
The latest life-changing event in my life - the birth of my son. His laugh the first thing in the morning, his excitement on hearing the garage door open when either Vishal or I get home, his challenging us by opening the door to the DVD cabinet and then waiting to see our reaction - seems like the purpose of my life was to enjoy these moments. I know Vishal feels the same way.
It's scary to see how fast time is passing us by. It seems like just yesterday that we brought our baby home - this tiny helpless little bundle who brought out such fierce feelings of protectiveness (he still does). I can't believe it's been almost 10 months since that day. Being a working mom is tough - not so much from a physical aspect. I fret that there are moments that I've missed - some precious coos that I never heard, some adorable smiles I never saw - maybe even a laugh, some heart-wrenching wails that I wasn't around to soothe. And knowing that my son is growing up so fast - that actually brings out mixed feelings in me. On the one hand, I am happy and excited to enjoy something new every day. On the other hand, I don't want this time to go by this soon - it's like trying to hold sand in your fist - priceless moments are just slipping by. I have my flashes of insecurity. Will my son ask me someday why I didn't spend more time with him? Will he compare me to other moms who dedicated all their time to their babies? The biggest fear is will he THINK any less of me even if doesn't get around to saying it? I wonder if this is something every working mother goes through, am pretty sure it is.
But with this thought comes the realization that my mother was working too when I was a child. I don't really think any less of her and I couldn't love her more. So that gives me hope that my son will also see that the choices I made were driven by the will to be able to give him a better future. He will never know the gut-wrenching pain I go through every morning when I say "Good Bye" to him as he is in the arms of his nanny, the agonizing wait I endure the entire day longing to drive back home to take him in my arms, the way my heart leaps with excitement as I take the I-90 back home weaving in and out of the traffic counting down the minutes, the rush of relief flooding through my veins as he grabs on to my leg without even letting me take my shoes off. I don't need him to know. I know and I am thankful that I am a woman, a mother.
On that note, I salute all mothers - each one of you have a made a choice and I hope and pray that your children appreciate it, thank you for it.
Since I did go on about mothers, I would like to dedicate this blog to fathers - to one in particular. My father-in-law, my appa, who is no longer in our lives, but is always in our thoughts. Appa, thanks for playing your part in raising Vishal and a very very Happy Birthday to you.
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